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Thursday, October 7, 2010

Re-posting - "One True Thing"

A friend messaged me about an old "note" I wrote on facebook. Though that was written months ago, I was surprised that she noticed it and got inspired by it. So when I went back to my old blogs on another blogsite to check-out some worth-sharing notes, I found a write-up that meant so much to me at that time.

Here's one I wrote in 2006. (It's also one of those that carved my writing skills)

I hope someone can find inspiration in this piece as much as I do when I first wrote this. (Though it's been modified a bit to fit the present day)


One True Thing

I miss watching “Sex and the City." Because besides the chic fashion statements and the “quote and unquote” dialogues, every episodes relate to our everyday life. It can be struggle at work; fitting-in with a crowd; working-out a relationship; trying to stay young; or the very subject of the show that is hidden behind the walls of New York --that is “searching for destiny"

Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha are the four characters with different personalities we meet everyday. Carrie, the sassy outgoing beauty, who rationalize her and her friends every relationship then later discover her greatest fear in commitment. Miranda, the career-minded smart city lawyer, who inspite of being tough and independent end-up a single-mom but later married her son's father . Charlotte, the hopeful dreamer, who never gave up finding her soulmate and unexpectedly fell in love with his divorce-lawyer. And lastly, playful socialite Samantha, whose vain and promiscuous character makes everybody wondering all the time.


As I watch the re-runs over and over again, including some episodes that I've been keeping on my shelf, I realize that there is a true reality existing --Relationship in this modern world is complicated. Everybody seems to be looking for that sense of acceptance and belonging, either with someone or something. No one gets satisfied and contented with the simple life anymore. Maybe because there are million of choices out there, and freedom is a good excuse for change.


Is this really how the 21st century should be? Variety and change? If I've been given a chance to choose between time, I’d go back to my grandparents' time.


I envy my grandparents, because they didn’t experience living in this over-indulging modern world. They got married at an early age, sort of a pre-approved marriage since they lived in the same circle of family and friends. Perhaps, there wasn’t much choices during those times that's why they stuck together and worked it out. In time, their relationship grew and blossomed. They raised 6 lovely children, and the best part was love endured and lasted till the day my grandfather passed away.


Though I was not there during those mourning days, but I heard that grandma bore so much grief from her partner’s death. And knowing her all my life made me realize how much their relationship meant to her that altered her well-being, from an amiable person to an indifferent woman when grandpa died. This struck me deeply. Because ever since, I’d been a huge fan of unwavering and enduring love. And putting myself in her shoes would probably crash my world apart.


However, this is the age I’m born into -- Caught-up in this dissatisfied, quick-changing, liberated society where relationship and love is an item; a commodity that wears out fast and the next thing you know, there’s a new replacement.


This is not being cynical. I know that there are some people out there, who still know the true meaning of love and commitment. And inspite of all the failed relationships; disappointments in love; miserable break-ups; or tragic death of a partner, there's still one out of there who believes in second chances. The question is, “How will you know if that person and relationship is the one true thing for you?”


I know a few people who are really lucky in love. Who has never experienced disappointments and failures in this area, but has found that one true thing with no effort to put up with. I wonder why? Perhaps they've been created as a model in society? Or maybe,just the few people who's been born with luck.


I have a good friend in high school who met the only man in her life after college. They have had 10 years steadfast relationship with no record of fights, only an attempted break-up because of a third party trying to test their commitment. Unfortunately, the third party has failed and the couple walked down the aisle eventually.

Some people will say this is too good to be true. But I am a witness to this perfect couple. One that I can say ‘meant to be forever’ - both partner and relationship. An exact example of the “one true thing”

I wonder how they've known that their significant person at that time is their one and only lifetime partner? Is it a certain feeling? Or a divine wisdom that speaks? Or, is it something that has to be worked on until it grows?


I have another friend who got married at age 24 and after 12 long years of being together has called it quits. I remember him saying, “I thought she was the one for me". And that has made me ponder to this day -- Isn’t this sad to know that after 12 long years together, you realize that you have the wrong person in your life? And what if during those years, that one true person has come a long way looking for you, but there’s no more room for her in your life. Or what if one day in that 12 years, you have bumped into this person, but you just let her go by because you thought that the person you have right then is the one…


There was this movie, “Sliding doors”. In this movie, two scenarios of stories were told and both of the stories had to do with a lady missing the train for a few seconds. One story showed that if she didn't miss the train, she'd probably catch her husband sleeping with another woman and that would be the end of their marriage. The other story was -- if she missed the train and waited for few minutes she wouldn’t catch her husband with that woman and she would never know about their affair, then it would still be them forever.

I wonder how true this story could be, that missing a second or minute of your time could completely change your life. I myself have missed the train many times. Sometimes, instead of getting off at my home station, I find myself lost 2 stations away. Funny though, but I wonder? What if those minutes I've missed, my destiny unfolded without my presence? Will I still have a second chance? Or just be sorry that I screw-up?

I have also my ups and downs in this modern world relationship, but I don’t regret that unfortunate things happened (I only regret the stupid things I did for love). Perhaps this is part of the uniqueness that my Creator has designed for me to draw me closer to my other half.

I believe that everything comes in pair even from the beginning of time (pair of eyes, ears, legs, hands, etc) So I know that I have a better half. Sometimes it's just the stubborness of our free-will that alters our destiny.

With all the metaphors in life, how could this be possibly true?

Don't trust the heart alone because it is fleeting and impulsive, neither is your mind, because it is critical and judgemental. Better yet, listen to that persistent little voice inside of you. Because if it's bugging you all the time, then it's sending you a message. And who knows, it could be your one true thing.