Unfathomable?

I have to get this out of my chest.

I just couldn't comprehend this...I couldn't comprehend.

I've been deprived of something that's meant for me in this lifetime
because of someone's biggest mistake in the past.

How could you comprehend that? How?

Re-posting - "One True Thing"

A friend messaged me about an old "note" I wrote on facebook. Though that was written months ago, I was surprised that she noticed it and got inspired by it. So when I went back to my old blogs on another blogsite to check-out some worth-sharing notes, I found a write-up that meant so much to me at that time.

Here's one I wrote in 2006. (It's also one of those that carved my writing skills)

I hope someone can find inspiration in this piece as much as I do when I first wrote this. (Though it's been modified a bit to fit the present day)

One True Thing

I miss watching “Sex and the City." Because besides the chic fashion statements and the “quote and unquote” dialogues, every episodes relate to our everyday life. It can be struggle at work; fitting-in with a crowd; working-out a relationship; trying to stay young; or the very subject of the show that is hidden behind the walls of New York --that is “searching for destiny"

Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha are the four characters with different personalities we meet everyday. Carrie, the sassy outgoing beauty, who rationalize her and her friends every relationship then later discover her greatest fear in commitment. Miranda, the career-minded smart city lawyer, who inspite of being tough and independent end-up a single-mom but later married her son's father . Charlotte, the hopeful dreamer, who never gave up finding her soulmate and unexpectedly fell in love with his divorce-lawyer. And lastly, playful socialite Samantha, whose vain and promiscuous character makes everybody wondering all the time.


As I watch the re-runs over and over again, including some episodes that I've been keeping on my shelf, I realize that there is a true reality existing --Relationship in this modern world is complicated. Everybody seems to be looking for that sense of acceptance and belonging, either with someone or something. No one gets satisfied and contented with the simple life anymore. Maybe because there are million of choices out there, and freedom is a good excuse for change.


Is this really how the 21st century should be? Variety and change? If I've been given a chance to choose between time, I’d go back to my grandparents' time.


I envy my grandparents, because they didn’t experience living in this over-indulging modern world. They got married at an early age, sort of a pre-approved marriage since they lived in the same circle of family and friends. Perhaps, there wasn’t much choices during those times that's why they stuck together and worked it out. In time, their relationship grew and blossomed. They raised 6 lovely children, and the best part was love endured and lasted till the day my grandfather passed away.


Though I was not there during those mourning days, but I heard that grandma bore so much grief from her partner’s death. And knowing her all my life made me realize how much their relationship meant to her that altered her well-being, from an amiable person to an indifferent woman when grandpa died. This struck me deeply. Because ever since, I’d been a huge fan of unwavering and enduring love. And putting myself in her shoes would probably crash my world apart.


However, this is the age I’m born into -- Caught-up in this dissatisfied, quick-changing, liberated society where relationship and love is an item; a commodity that wears out fast and the next thing you know, there’s a new replacement.


This is not being cynical. I know that there are some people out there, who still know the true meaning of love and commitment. And inspite of all the failed relationships; disappointments in love; miserable break-ups; or tragic death of a partner, there's still one out of there who believes in second chances. The question is, “How will you know if that person and relationship is the one true thing for you?”


I know a few people who are really lucky in love. Who has never experienced disappointments and failures in this area, but has found that one true thing with no effort to put up with. I wonder why? Perhaps they've been created as a model in society? Or maybe,just the few people who's been born with luck.


I have a good friend in high school who met the only man in her life after college. They have had 10 years steadfast relationship with no record of fights, only an attempted break-up because of a third party trying to test their commitment. Unfortunately, the third party has failed and the couple walked down the aisle eventually.

Some people will say this is too good to be true. But I am a witness to this perfect couple. One that I can say ‘meant to be forever’ - both partner and relationship. An exact example of the “one true thing”

I wonder how they've known that their significant person at that time is their one and only lifetime partner? Is it a certain feeling? Or a divine wisdom that speaks? Or, is it something that has to be worked on until it grows?


I have another friend who got married at age 24 and after 12 long years of being together has called it quits. I remember him saying, “I thought she was the one for me". And that has made me ponder to this day -- Isn’t this sad to know that after 12 long years together, you realize that you have the wrong person in your life? And what if during those years, that one true person has come a long way looking for you, but there’s no more room for her in your life. Or what if one day in that 12 years, you have bumped into this person, but you just let her go by because you thought that the person you have right then is the one…


There was this movie, “Sliding doors”. In this movie, two scenarios of stories were told and both of the stories had to do with a lady missing the train for a few seconds. One story showed that if she didn't miss the train, she'd probably catch her husband sleeping with another woman and that would be the end of their marriage. The other story was -- if she missed the train and waited for few minutes she wouldn’t catch her husband with that woman and she would never know about their affair, then it would still be them forever.

I wonder how true this story could be, that missing a second or minute of your time could completely change your life. I myself have missed the train many times. Sometimes, instead of getting off at my home station, I find myself lost 2 stations away. Funny though, but I wonder? What if those minutes I've missed, my destiny unfolded without my presence? Will I still have a second chance? Or just be sorry that I screw-up?

I have also my ups and downs in this modern world relationship, but I don’t regret that unfortunate things happened (I only regret the stupid things I did for love). Perhaps this is part of the uniqueness that my Creator has designed for me to draw me closer to my other half.

I believe that everything comes in pair even from the beginning of time (pair of eyes, ears, legs, hands, etc) So I know that I have a better half. Sometimes it's just the stubborness of our free-will that alters our destiny.

With all the metaphors in life, how could this be possibly true?

Don't trust the heart alone because it is fleeting and impulsive, neither is your mind, because it is critical and judgemental. Better yet, listen to that persistent little voice inside of you. Because if it's bugging you all the time, then it's sending you a message. And who knows, it could be your one true thing.

Beautiful or Woman

When Eve, the mother of all living, was created, she altered the destiny of human race by defying the big Boss. Either good or bad. But that moment, she played a powerful force in the history of the world.

When we talk about women, there are so many significant figures that comes to mind. To name a few;

Mary the Mother of Jesus
Mary Magdalene
Cleopatra
Joan of Arc
Queen Elizabeth
Queen Victoria
Marie Curie
Coco Chanel
Eleanor Roosevelt
Mother Theresa
Princess Diana
Audrey Hepburn
Oprah

They were advocates,warriors, healers, inventors, leaders, poets, actors, artist, missionaries,saints and more. Each of them marked a spot in their field and had been an icon throughout society.

I wonder what the earth would have been without women. Probably we wouldn't call "earth" as "mother earth" without the significant role of women as sustainers, nurturers, caregivers, homemakers, lovers, allies, etc.

How about the word "love"? Would we ever define it esoterically without women? And the word "beautiful", would it ever exist figuratively without the very subject of it?

Women in every lifetime are expected to transform drastically to where they're needed most. But nonetheless, they'll always be an epitome of beauty...

What, If

Time really flies. I haven't even worn my sassy summer dress, and now, summer has come to an end.

I thought this summer was the best summer ever, but sadly, it ended in a bad note.
A bittersweet one...

I wish as the season bid goodbye,
the unpleasant memories follow behind,
and my thoughts will finally rest at night...

Then,

Fall will paint the sky with orange, yellow and gold,
Winter with its chill, will brazen the ground in white,
Spring will blossom in rainbow with scent of honey dew,
And summer, oh yes summer... will pick up again, where it left-off...

If only everyday is a bed of roses, orchids, lilies, daisies, dahlias, lilacs, sweet peas...

If only, if only these...

Say the ABC (only when you're out of words)

I was digging in my old blog stuff few days ago, and I found this... I wrote this awhile back while nursing a boredom. So if you find this an applesauce, please discontinue reading. But if this seems amusing and funny, please go ahead. I hope it entertains your friday. Happy Friday!



Do you feel sometimes that you want to say something outrageous, specially at the peak of your emotions, but you thought it might not be appropriate? On some occasions, you just wish you can blurt out that “word” and that person in front of you will be puzzled, but still think that you’re cute... And then you can go on with your life without feeling so guilty...

Say you’re having a fight with your SO (significant other), and you’re sizzling mad all over. All you want to do is just say it -- without thinking. But you love him and your words will surely hurt. If your brain keeps telling you, “YSWYS (yea, sure whatever you say) !” Then go ahead why not say, “IDGAS(I don’t give a s***)...FOAD(f*** off and die) ...YSS(you suck severely) !”, as many times you want. Definitely, if he hasn’t heard these words before he’ll stare at you empty, and say, “WTH(what the heck)?”... Now you have a choice, either to continue saying these or OWTTE(or words to that effect); or just walk away –EOD(end of discussion)...Somehow you’ll feel better...

Most of the time, your workplace is where you desperately need lots of letters to drive away annoying people around you ASAFP(as soon as freakin’ possible). So if you’re really serious saying KMA(kiss my a**) but still want to sound TIC(tongue-in-cheek), then you can start saying, “MYOB(mind your own business)” with a smile. If still they insist to annoy while you're busy working on a deadline, you can tell them to “LMTFA(leave me the f*** alone)!”and “GTFOOMF(get the f*** out of my face)!” And TM(trust me), they”ll surely walk away OOSOOM(out of sight, out of mind) with their face looking like this “???????”...and you’ll be ROFLOL(rolling on floor laughing out loud) because you're not really serious after all...

Now you are approached by your PITA(pain in the a**) boss, who you imagine sometimes to be SBCN(sitting behind the computer naked). NTL(nevertheless), you have to deal with him in OARS(on a related subject), or sometimes OATUS (on a totally unrelated subject). You just have to pretend that you’re TCOB(taking care of business). If you’re having a hard time figuring out, remember the FAQ(frequently asked questions). Then you can tell him, “ILIWTPCT(I love it when the plan comes together) and rest assured there’s FM (fine magic) on the project!” For sure, he’ll be happy to hear that. Specially, if you tell him that you TGAL(think globally, act locally) first. Probably, he’ll say, “TIA(thanks in advance)”, and thinks that you’re really smart enough for a promotion. But don’t get so excited soon because he might be thinking that ROTBA(reality on the blink again) too...Probably, IAC(in any case) he thinks it’s IBM(inadequate but marketable) still. At least you’ve taken chances...

What if the annoying co-worker is your boss? OC(of course) you can’t say “GASP(go away silly person)!” or “KISS(keep it simple stupid)!”, because you’re afraid he knows these words. But then, you’re totally pissed-off because what he’s asking from you need SAR(some assembly required) and that you’re getting SOE(silly/stupid operator error) . After several try you’re SOL(still out of luck) . So now you feel that you’re FUBAR(fouled up beyond all recognition)! Or maybe, C&B (crash and burn) ! Then let it all out, say “GOMF(get outta my face) !" or “KMA(kiss my a**) !” again...

Don't worry. I think it’s NBD(no big deal) ! You're just having fun. And it’s just letters of the alphabet anyway. LOL
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ACRONYMS – abbreviated coded rendition of name yielding meaning

http://www.magicpub.com/netprimer/acronyms.html

Perseid 2010

It's two AM on a friday marked the thirteen,
my misty eyes driven to skip a night routine,
feeling the summer night's breeze nipping to my skin,
but i wont quit the yearning to see meteor gleam.

once as a child dreaming, seeking a shooting star,
that a wish ascends to the heavens fast and far,
truth or myth maybe, it wont hurt to try somehow,
so i'll take my chances not tomorrow but now,

slouch on this wobbling, flimsy chair my face up high,
and a headphone tuck-in with songs from a Wi-Fi,
while my iris fixate giddily through the sky,
waiting even just one sweep of the meteorites.

at past two forty-five, drowsy and still a no show,
though the vast midnight sky, seemed calm and unshallow,
even the constellation rigidly in tow,
yet not a dashing star snaps at a glance to soar.

wonder if i miss it, with its speed in a blink
or the wish i long to say is not mine to think,
but this rare moment is simply self uplifting,
that needless of shooting stars, i live to believe.

Amazing, amazing grace

I've known this song since I was a kid. I've sung it million times in school, at church; but it's never been this transcendent. And when I've heard it from this 7 year girl wonder, I've realized how meaningful a song could be. This much, is amazing as amazing grace itself...